I once had a conversation with Zolodon about immortality. I’m not sure how we got on the subject, but the man was certainly opinionated on the subject. I guess when you see life and death as much as the two of us, it is something you give some degree of thought. At any rate, we argued judiciously about the possibility of a human being immortal. It was interesting where the conversation went at this point because I talked about it as something to be “attained” while he argued the point of it being a “curse.” Regardless, we both agreed that it was a possibility. Having spent time with Verata, this was of course no great surprise to me.
There are a great number of possibilities when life is endless. Time takes on new meaning and motivation and urgency are less meaningful than before. Relationships with mortals take a toll though. When you stop aging and they don’t, it definitely puts into perspective how fragile life truly is. I lost count long ago the number of times I have died and revived. That’s the occupational hazard of necromancy I guess. Still, as backward as it might sound coming from a necromancer, I’m a little afraid of truly dying. I’ve given some thought about liches and undeath, but that isn’t for me personally. Undeath is unnatural. Animated skeletons and zombies are tools, not lifestyles. If immortality was something for me, it would most certainly not be in the form of undeath.
Zol, on the other hand, really talked about the isolation that is the result of immortality. How can an immortal being truly relate to a mortal one? You know from the start that the relationship is destined to end in loss, grief, and even regret. You will inevitably outlive everyone for whom you care–everyone for whom you love. I told him I’d never loved, but he just kept on with his speech (love is a little awkward for necromancers as well, but that’s another story). Boredom will inevitably set in. You can only master so many things before you tire of trying. And ultimately, if one is truly immortal, one is trapped. Death is the ultimate escape–on this we both agreed–but how can one escape immortality when one can’t die?
Well, my curiosity got the better of me and I started researching further. Zol told me to leave it alone, but I didn’t listen. As it turns out, it really isn’t that hard to achieve once you decide what you’re willing to do to achieve it. There are several ways to do it. Being turned by a vampire is probably the simplest, but it also has a lot of drawbacks. Undeath is also pretty easy, but you know my stance on that. The direct blessing or curse of a God can do it, but that comes with strings attached.
I did it with a spell. And don’t bother asking, I’ve destroyed all of my notes and manuscripts. Zol was right, as it turns out. It is everything I wanted and everything he warned me about. I’m starting to think he knew from experience. I’d ask him, but I haven’t seen him in almost 250 years. Another problem I found with being immortal…it’s really hard to be yourself. It is a delicate balance of subtlety and greatness. I’ve used many names over the years, nicknames mostly, but I can never really be myself. People know of me from history books. I think it might upset them a little bit to know I’m still walking around. I mostly just lie and say I’m that Belzan’s descendant. It’s believable enough and, really, it’s not too far from the truth these days. I’m hardly now the man I once was…for better or worse.