(Post submitted for Blog Carnival 2. Check out all of the Blog Carnival 2 participants here!)
Greetings. My name is Lila. I’m sure you’ve heard of me. I’m kind of a big deal among the newly awakened sylvari. People know me all the way over in Lion’s Arch. It’s not surprising that everyone wants to join my guild. I am very important after all.
I have a large guild of allies, followers, and paparazzi. I don’t need to tell you the name. It is famous after all. Yeah, we’ve earned lots of achievements–too many to list really–and you’d be surprised what we can do with our influence. All I have to do is plant my guild’s flag and all of my followers instantly do better at whatever it is we’re doing. Well, I don’t have to plant the flag. I have one of my subjects do that for me.
We’ve done lots of stuff as a guild. My guild has taken keeps in the great war of worlds and we’ve fortified those keeps with our influence and the deep coffers of my guild storage account. My guild is really popular and pretty much unbeatable. I’m sure there will be many leather-bound books written about us.
And that’s why I’m furious. Just when I finished the blueprints for the most amazing guild hall, I have to put the project on hold. I mean, this guild hall was going to be A.W.E.S.O.M.E. It was going to have lots of keeps, a waterfall, huge trees, and the main keep was going to smell of rich mahogany! OOH! I’m so mad!
I had to scrap the project because people started leaving the guild! My totally loyal followers who told me they would only join my guild started joining others! I was like “Excuse me! It’s written in the guild by-laws that we are an exclusive guild!” But they were like “But we want to join other guilds with our human and asura friends.”
This is my guild. If they want to go join another guild then fine, see ya! My guild is cooler than their stupid guild anyway. I have all the cool guild perks. It’s either my guild or nothing. You want to go join several other guilds? FINE! I’m not sharing! And don’t think you can empty out the guild storage account before you leave. That’s guild property now!
Stupid leavers. They think that joining a bunch of guilds is cooler than being in one super cool guild–my guild. That’s just stupid. My guild is the coolest. We have all of the achievements. We have all of the influence. I mean, what’s more important: hanging out with people who want to do what you’re interested in or being part of the coolest guild out there? I mean COME ON, their’s no choice!
Being loyal to my cool guild is so much better than hanging out with a bunch of nobodies who share your interests. So what if you want to hang out with your roleplaying buddies or all of your Seraph friends from work. So what if you want to pool all your crafting resources in your crafting guild and wear your other guild’s cape* into world vs world battle later.
LOYALTY TRUMPS CONVENIENCE EVERY TIME!!!**
Fine then. You all can leave. I’ll be a guild of one. I’ll be the coolest guild out there and only people who are loyal to me can join. And when you come crawling back to join my guild after your failed attempt at joining all of your club guilds, I’ll shut my mahogany guild hall doors in your face.
Walking Amongst Mere Mortals [GODS] now accepting applications for new members. Have guild storage, calendar, lots of achievements and influence, and stylish capes!* Guild Hall being built. 1K entry fee. Looking for officers. LOYAL MEMBERS ONLY!!! (no other guilds). Contact Lila for details.
*Guild capes not confirmed for GW2
**Lila’s views regarding guilds in GW2 are not shared by this author
Belzan is a GW & GW2 character and the online persona of this author. You can read about Belzan’s story and other GW topics here as well as at Talk Tyria.